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A miscarriage may be a
natural occurrence, but it is a sad experience for
a couple. People's reactions differ
widely. But more and more it is being
understood that losing a pregnancy can cause a
woman real grief. Support from friends,
family members, and medical staffs matters a great
deal, and can help a woman or a couple through a
difficult time.
Clear and accurate
information about causes of miscarriage may keep a
woman from worrying that she is in some way
responsible for the miscarriage. In 30 to 40%
of cases, there is no medical explanation for what
went wrong. Self-doubt or self-blame quickly
fill a vacuum of information. Psychological
problems don't cause miscarriage - even though
psychological problems can certainly result from
miscarriages. Psychological problems or
genetic errors may be the cause. The rate of
miscarriage also increases as a woman
ages.
Research on this subject has
shown that just the simple act of talking about the
experience can be very beneficial. A woman
needs to understand that it is very normal to feel
sad after a miscarriage, even the same kind of
sense of loss people have after the death of a
family member. Women who are experiencing
more extreme problems coping with miscarriage may
want to request a referral to a counselor or
psychologist who is trained in reproductive health
issues. In any of the following cases,
further counseling might be advisable:
- if a woman feels she
needs it
- if she is having trouble
getting through the day
- if she and her husband
are experiencing difficulty with their
marriage
- in cases of persistent
mood disturbances
- if she feels she is not
getting enough support from people close to
her
Adding miscarriage to
infertility can cause cumulative stress to a
couple. Healing the emotional side effects
of a miscarriage may make it easier for a couple to
continue their infertility treatment later
on.
Members of a family may view
the experience from very different
perspectives. A woman may be more devastated
than her husband by the miscarriage because she is
closer physically and perhaps emotionally to the
experience. Likewise, if there are already
children in the family, they will probably have
their own unique view of this loss. An adult
may be able to come to grips with the idea that a
miscarriage early in pregnancy is common. But
a little child hoping for a brother or sister will
just feel very alone.
A woman who miscarries is
likely to need social as well as medical
care. A support group may be able to offer
some comfort. And if a woman feels she needs
counseling or antidepressants, she should feel free
to make her needs known to her
physician.
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